"Language divides us, music can unite us."

-- Elvis Costello

Attention...energy

About 2 years ago, I went to a party and there was a woman there that I was repelled by...literally...wherever she was, I went the other way...I just wanted to be as far away from her as I can get...I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to hear her. I don't recall the last time I had such a strong reaction to someone and it surprised me, especially since I have been working on loving people. She was an attention-getter, the kind that was loud and seems to demand others attention. I thought perhaps I was jealous of the attention she is getting...but I felt it was deeper than that. I thought about it for a few days but could not figure it out.

Many months after that event, I heard something that clicked...attention is a form of energy! I had never connect those 2 things together before and when I looked at social situations with that in mind, I found answers to questions I've had for a long time. Questions like "why do so many people want to be famous?", "why do many famous people crash and burn?", "why are shy people so sensitive?".

If attention is a form of energy, then when people pay attention to you, they are giving you energy...much of the time the energy is positive. I think most people have not learned to love themselves so they seek the love they want externally and they equate this positive energy with the love they seek. Since famous people seem to get a lot of attention, many people want to be famous because they believe it will give them the love they crave. Famous people who are aware of this can use this energy to manage their life well and live a pretty stable life. Famous people who are unconscious of this or who do not know how to use or manage this energy are controlled by others which can often result in a highly unstable life of peaks and valleys. I also think that if you are famous/get a lot of attention and you do not love yourself, you will eventually turn the positive attention energy into destructive negative energy and take yourself down.

On the opposite end, those who avoid others attention are often considered shy and I think the shyness is a way to cope with their extra sensitivity to others' energy. I was very shy when I was younger...painfully so and I was also extremely sensitive to other people...what they say, how they behave. Shy people are most comfortable when they are alone, when they cannot sense anyone else's energy. Shy people do not have the tools to control their own energy, much less other people's energy, so their coping mechanism is to be alone. Hmmm, I just had an "aha!" moment as I write this...

So back to the party story I told at the beginning of the post, I now understand why I was repelled by that woman...I am really repelled by anyone who is an energy sucker and demands attention through manipulation. I had been working on loving myself and letting things go and these tools have helped me to become much more comfortable in social situations. But these tools were not enough to deal with this woman whose demand for attention overpowered my ability to control my own energy...hence I wanted to run away from her.

Recently, I went to another party. There was another woman there whom I had seen in other parties but never spoke to, but this time, she sat next to me during the meal and I had a chance to interact with her. I realized now that I had been unconsciously avoiding her for the same reason, though this time I was able to sit still, interact with her, and understand what is going on. I watched how she operated. If there was a pause in the conversation, she would say something to get the attention. If someone was talking about something, she would inject her view or story. If other people are talking among themselves, she would join in and take over the conversation. Whether she is talking about herself or someone else, the underlying tone was always about her..for example, she was talking about her twin boys and kept saying things like "my boys", "the party I threw for them", "the food I made"; it felt as if she was constantly saying "I'm a good mother, you should love me." So I observed while interacting with her and was glad when we left.

Before I was unconsciously aware of energy and it controlled me. Now through the practice of yoga and meditation, I am becoming consciously aware of energy. This is giving me more power in my life.

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Please share your view about humanity's future in the poll on the left. Feel free to add your comment to this blog. Thanks for sharing!

Healthy School Lunches

As you probably know, childhood obesity is on the rise. This has serious health impact to the children and to us as a nation.

Please join me in signing a petition to U.S. Congress to reauthorize the National School Lunch Program and to add healthier options to the program.

"Sign our petition to reform school lunches now. Urge Congress to include vegetarian options in school lunches.

The Healthy School Lunch Campaign, sponsored by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM), is dedicated to improving the food served to children in schools by educating government and school officials, food service workers, parents, and others about the food choices best able to promote children’s current and long-term health."

-- www.healthyschoollunches.org

For more info, checkout the "2008 School Lunch Report Card".

Thanks for your support (:

Affairs of the heart

The recent publicized affair of South Carolina's governor Sanford prompted me to articulate something I've been thinking about...the issue of love between the (married but not to each other) sexes...

Whether this love starts off innocently (as Sanford says his did) or like a lightning, at some point most of us will experience this and struggle on how to handle it and perhaps wonder what to do...

Before you act in a way that will compromise your integrity, I'd like to offer the following thoughts:

• It is ok. Love is a good and natural thing.
• Let the guilt go for it will only cause you to suffer and turn a good thing into a bad thing.
• Recognize that the "wrongness" you may feel is something that you've chosen to believe from our culture...our traditional wedding vows and laws promote monogamy, our need to be a good person and not hurt others...you don't have to give up these choices but recognize that you did make these choices and not be a victim of them.
  
• You will have some work to do, you can choose to spend your energy on keeping the love positive for yourself or let it go into a direction that hurts you. Only you will know what's "positive" for you.
  
• Ask yourself the following questions and be really honest to yourself about the answers:
  • What are you really feeling?
  • Why do you feel that way?
  • What do you want?
  • What are you getting?
  • What are you not getting?
• What exactly was the contract you entered with your spouse? Choose whether you want to remain in that contract, change it or end it altogether? You must act upon this choice on a daily basis for the lack of action will disempower you, cause you suffering, and take all love into a negative direction. You will need courage to act.
• Be aware and let go of your assumptions and stories about other people...do not decide for them. You can only choose for yourself. Others will choose for themselves. We all have our own path to travel.
  
• Accept responsibilities for all of it...your answers, your situations, your choices.
• Realize that the more time you open up and spend with someone, the stronger the love will grow. Use that to your advantage to keep love positive for you.
• Relax and enjoy it! For love is a wonderful thing and you are blessed to feel it (:
• Finally, give others the blessing of love. Work on your own insecurities if that keeps you from giving others the same freedom to love.
  

Crystal City, Virginia

I'm in Crystal City, Virginia for a conference. It is my first time in this city and state. I love the warm wind and the different vegetation here. I have a view of the Potomac river from my hotel room and it is very pretty. The people here are very friendly.

Here are a few things that stood out to me:

• There are a lot of what appears to be Ethopian people here...many of them are in the service industry
  
• There is no place like Jamba Juice for fruit smoothy or wheat grass drinks
  
• I could not find a place for massage, yoga, or good salad within walking distance...it isn't like San Franciscos!
  

Since the conference receptions did not have much I can eat as a vegetarian, I've been trying a few restaurants within walking distance of my hotel. Tonight I tried a place called Noodles & Company. I had high hopes from their website but it was less than I had expected...though Mixt Greens is a hard act to follow! I would call Noodles & Company a "fast restaurant" in that it is like a fast-food place where you go up to the counter to order and pickup your food when it is ready and the decoration and lighting inside is kinda like a fast-food place. But the difference is that the food is prepared fresh, after you order it...they cook the noodles and veggies...like a sit-down restaurant. Though the taste is certainly not what I would call "masterful" but it is good. Afterwards, I treated myself to some ice cream from Cold Stone (:

I love walking around a new city...so many things to see and feel...

I'm hopeful

I feel very hopeful...I hear conversations all around me voicing unhappiness about the way we've lived our lives...I've certainly had these conversations with family and friends.

While we are all lamenting at how things are not working, the hopeful news is that we are now aware of how unbalanced we are, we are aware how we seem to have lost our common sense, we are aware of what we don't want.

This is good, because if we weren't complaining, then we are not even aware. Awareness is the first step to change.

Now that we are aware, let's do our part and make positive changes in our own lives...only you can decide what's positive for you...keep practicing (:

Fisherman, Mexico

Beautiful shot...bless all those who work hard...


[Photograph by Octavio Duran from National Geographic POTD]

Letting go

As you become more aware, you will become aware of what you are holding onto. What's the point of that? So that you can practice letting go and free yourself.

As we get older, most of us carry more and more "stuff"...stuff like beliefs, memories, stories/interpretations of our experiences...and so on. While that is not a bad thing, it weighs us down as we accumulate them.

This accumulation of stuff brings many of us negative feelings...anger, guilt, sadness, depression, loneliness, disconnect, void...which can lead to unhealthy ways of dealing with them...addictions, suicide, violence, having 14 babies (no, this post is not about her...)

The accumulation can also bring us many positive feelings...sense of accomplishment, joy, strength...though that too can lead us into unhealthy ways of dealing with those feelings also...attachment to what works for you, attachment to a particular person, belief or behavior that gives you power and/or brings you a sense of love.

Examples of attachment:

• being with X makes you feel good and without X you feel bad
• being #1 in a competition brings you lots of attention and pride and you MUST stay #1 and you'll do anything to stay #1
• you have a spiritual experience through some group and now that's the only group who has the truth and everybody else is wrong and they will pay...you get the picture.

It dawned on me that letting go is the healthiest way of dealing with our accumulations, both negative and positive. Letting go is hard to do, seemingly impossible in the beginning. You will fail to let go, that's ok; let go of the idea that you MUST let it go or that you are wrong or stupid or this is not working if you cannot let it go. Just keep practicing it every day...start small, just practice it regularly. Like anything else, regular practice will make it easier.

After practicing letting go for the past 2 years, I am experiencing more peace and freedom than I have ever felt. With this peace and freedom comes more power...power to be how I choose, power to live how I want, power to bring those things into my life that I want and remove things that I do not. And the whole point of this post is to share what I just realized...the power of letting go is that it separates my thought from the associated emotion. Without the emotion associated with a though, I have no more investment in that thought and it no longer has power in my life. So I am no longer spending my energy on the past and have more energy/power to spend on my present. This is the power of letting go...it gives you power in your life now.

I made it through the rain

I admit I was a huge Manilow fan when I was a teenager...I would listen to his songs over and over and they put me to sleep every night for over a year. His songs of love helped me through a difficult time in my life and I still think he is an amazing song writer.

One of his songs has been going through my head lately and I dedicate it to people everywhere who are going a difficult time right now...

"I made it through the rain,
I kept my world protected.

I made it through the rain,
I kept my point of view.

I made it through the rain,
and found myself respected
by the others who...got rained on too
and made it through."

-- Excerpts of song titled "I Made It Through the Rain"
by Barry Manilow

You can hear the song here...